This month in It’s Time For Me I want to cover a topic that I feel all of us can relate to, which is feeling Shame. Up until recently I didn’t realise I had been experiencing Shame for many, many years as I was putting names onto the feelings I was having without knowing they were feelings of shame.
Shame comes in so many forms and layers; and if not known, acknowledged or understood it can debilitate aspects of yourself and your life and hold you in unwanted patterns and situations that are not good for you. It can cause you to continually beat yourself up, not feel good enough or worthy and can lead you to hide aspects of yourself and your life from others. This is not a way any of us deserve to live. You are not your shame. You are not defined by your shame. Your shame is not your identity.
I feel that everyone deals with shame on some level but as we live in a world that has taught to feel ashamed for so many things, it is no wonder we think we should feel ashamed and in a way we almost feel shame for feeling ashamed…it can be a bit of a vicious circle. It can result in us ending up in a place of fear or stagnancy in our life.
When I had shared with all of you that I was considering doing this topic I was overwhelmed by how many of you emailed me privately to express your want for this topic and shared your own feelings of shame. Thank you for being so open.
I have combined a list of what many of us can feel ashamed about and you may even want to add to this list yourself. Take some time to see if you relate to one or many of these:
Shame of your body and weight.
Shame of feeling lonely.
Shame of money issues or desires.
Shame of not being in the “best” career or progressing in your career.
Shame of not being educated enough or having pursued educational avenues.
Shame of your income.
Shame of not having a partner or spouse.
Shame of your sexuality.
Shame of not owning your own property.
Shame of not having children or being able to have children.
Shame of thinking you are not a good parent.
Shame of not “achieving” or being as ahead in life as society has said you “should be”.
Shame of being ill or unwell.
Shame over not being able to “fix” or “heal” yourself.
Shame of having mental health issues.
Shame of currently being bullied or bullied in the past.
Shame of the mistakes you have made.
Shame of not being able to set boundaries and speak up.
Shame of previous abuse by someone towards you.
Generational shame: repeating taught patterns and learned behaviours of shame.
Shame carried down from your Ancestors and shame of hidden secrets.
Shame of your culture.
Shame of what you do for a living.
……and so much more shame.
Over the course of this month, we will give a voice to our shame and bring it to the surface; as the only way we can heal is by acknowledging and recognising. We will commit to not run away from seeking help and support from trained professionals if we need it and we will commit to giving ourselves the chance to love ourselves and everything we may have done, everything that has been done to us or everything that is holding is in a place of shame.
This is a topic that will be quite deep and could bring emotions and thoughts to the surface that might be uncomfortable. Please know that if this happens it is understandable and normal. I have sent you a list of suggested professional supports in the ‘Pillars of It’s Time For Me’ you will have received by email. Please make sure to make a note of these and also please make sure to sign and return the ‘Pillars of It’s Time For Me’ to me before commencing this topic. Thank you.
You can listen to a quick introduction audio below about what we will cover this month through the weekly guidance/teachings and classes.